Relationships VS Personal Space

      


                                                 RELATIONSHIPS VS PERSONAL SPACE



       Boundaries and personal space can become some what challenging in growing relationships. The invasion of personal space usually comes later in relationship. Invasion of personal space can occurs when a couple desires to move in together for the first time.  Here is a few ways to handle if your personal space is being invaded in a relationship.


                   


      Woohoo! What an excited time in your relationship! You have decided to move into together! This may feel a little strange but wonderful for those of you moving in with someone other then your parents for the first time! It was great at first. Just the two of you. Cuddling. Watching movies. Walking around naked. Slowly falling a sleep in each other's arms. No rules. You are free to do what you want to do. You are officially playing house. After a few months you start to feel....invaded. It isn't bad to feel that way but know that the invasion isn't being done on purpose. You start to notice it slowly. You start to feel a little crapped and uncomfortable. For the fellas it may be a shock seeing tampons in the bathroom and all of a sudden your killer dude pad is now pink and frilly. For the ladies things might not be so ladies like anymore. It is ok that he farts it may be horrifying at first but for the sack of love we endure their smells and sounds.


                          


    When personal space is being invaded it is important to respect boundaries. Make sure to take some me time when you feel like you need a little space. Go for a walk. Take a bubble bath. Take a drive. Take the dog to the park. Go shopping. Read. Get a message. Meditate. Go to the gym. Go for a run. Write. Build something. Crafts. Take up a hobby or class.  It is ok to take some separate time from each other. It is health for the relationship and will avoid may explosive arguments. Me time can even save a relationship.


                  


        If you are experiencing some invasion of space talk through it right away! This issue really isn't a big one so don't make a big deal over it. Set boundaries. Set some guild line but not rules! Be like "Hun can you please not turn off my tv shoe to put on the game? Please ask me first. If I can watch my show later you can watch the game. Just ask." or "Hey babe. Can you make sure to clean up all your makeup and put it away so I can have room for my stuff in the bathroom?"  Each of you every week set some me time a side for yourselves. Communication is the key to fixing any mishap or problem in any relationship. Remember. Keep living. Keep learning. Keeping Laughing. Keep loving.

Relationship VS Friendships

   

Relationship VS Friendships

       Relationships and friendships are a like in so many ways. They both can be toxic or amazing. They both good or bad can be life changing in so many different ways. They can both be positive or heart breaking. It all depends on the person and the people in the relationship.

                                                    

       Personally I have my fair share of failed friendships. I'll see someone from high school that I use to be really close to and itll just be a hi and bye. The way I feel is as you grow ether people grow with you or they drift away. It's very sad it's true but that's just how life rolls. Then there are times where you are made to cut ties with a friend. That's my life story! My best friend of 14 years I had to cut ties with because of lies and jealousy. Friendships for me where full of drama and headache so I decided I just didn't need that negative in my life.

                                 

        My husband on the other hand is total opposite! He feels if he doesn't have his group of friends he has a empty hole. He feels like male companies is a must to a complete happy life. He likes to go to the gym with his bros and party's with his group of friends. He even has man dates with his best friend. He also plays video games with his bros. I do understand where my husband is comeing from. Companionship is important in life. For me my husband is my bestfriend. He is the one I talk about everything with. He is the one I want to spend all my time with. I share everything with him. We laugh together. We cry together. Noone understands me like my husband does. I rather stay in with a movie then go out and party. I dont need anyone else because I have him and that's all I want. My husband is also younger then me by two years. He is 20 and I am 22. Because he is so young he still feels the need to go out with his friends. I don't complain about him hanging out with his friends. I go to his friends party's, put on a nice smile, and try my best to fit in with everyone. Just because I put on a pretty face doesn't mean that his friendships don't bother me sometimes.


                                    
     His friends and even their parents have had negative things to say about out relationship. Me and my husband have been together for 3 years but he friends think I make him grow up too fast. That's been a problem for me because I have never pressured my husband with anything. I just get upset because I don't feel like its ok for him to be spending the night with his best friend 3 nights out of the week leave me all alone. We both work so we hardly get any time together all ready so the time we do have is really precious to me. I am his wife and there has to be a time when I can say ok I think it's time we had alone time. Maybe even take me on a date instead of your best friend.


                              
     I love my husband dearly and I know his friends mean alot to him so I just let him do his thing because I know as he gets older he'll settle down more. So ladies my advice for you if your husband or boyfriend is having a bromance or like spending time with his friends just go with it. Even spends some time with him and his friends. He'll really appreciate that you know what is important to him and you don't push him. But know when to cross the line. Know when to say ok I need some love over here please.:) if his friendships really bother you tell him! Talk it out. I know it may fell like it some times but he can't read your mind. He can't make it better if you don't tell him what's what.
   Keep loving. Keep living.
                     Xoxo wizzy

Relationships VS Exs

                                


                                                                  Relationship VS Exs




         Ex's...some of them move on with their lives but then you have the ones who don't want you but don't want you to be with anyone else. Of course you know the type. The ones who can go out with anyone but don't want you to be happy. I noticed that it more happens with girls then guys! Ex's are hard to get over depending on the relationship. They really do like to mess things up when you find something good.

                    

        Now Exs were a big problem when me and my husband first started dating. He didn't have the best track record before we met. There was only two of his ex's that really bothered me. We will call them EX A and Ex B. Well Ex B wasn't anything really serious. She was one of those....there really isn't a nice word for it....sluts! I am really not being judge mental she really was a slut. She would sleep with a guy just because he gave her a ride home from the party! Really girl just give him gas money not your vagina! Their relationship really didn't last long but once me and my husband started dating she came out of the wood work. She would txt him asking him for birthday sex and asking if me and him had sex! Who does that! After that my husband deleted her number for good! Now Ex A was a little more serious....he even said he thought she was the one. She was the type of girl who liked to play head games with people. She really hurt my husband but when we met of course I fixed all that! The first night we met he said he knew I was the real girl he was going to grow old with. Ex A really didn't like that she even told him I was only of his brilliant mistake and that we never last. She even got really pissed because he didn't say hi to her while me and him where on a date. Back when they dated she told him she fell out of love with him then wanted him back when she got bord. He finally cut ties with her then met me about a month later. Even after 4 years she still wants him to run back to her. She is the ex that doesn't want the guy but doesn't want anyone else to be happy with him.

                     

        Now they don't always have to have had a romantic relationship or been bf and gf to be an ex. Their are also sometimes the sex Exs. The girls they hooked up with, fuck buddies, one night stands, and the sexting buddies. Luckily i haven't had much trouble with these exs! No its normal for guys to sexting buddies. Most guys and girls have them now a days. My husband had one who he was very close friends with. It really didn't bother me at first because the past is the past i am the future. Then she started to try to sext him while me and him where together. So not ok! Then my husband match her and his best friend up. It was so awkward being around her. She would always check him.out and tried being really flirty with him. Turns out she had been cheating the whole year she had been with my husbands best friend. Thankfully none of us talk to her anymore.


                         

   Exs have been one of my biggest speed pumps in my relationship because i hated seeing how much they hurt him and wanted to hurt us. So here is some advice. Release that your his upgrade! Don't stoop to their level! you are better then the rest that is why he is with you and not them. If he really wanted them he would still be after them. He is with you because you are ment to be together. When you do happen to run ito his ex smile big, hold onto his arm, and lay a big kiss on him! show them what they let go and are never getting back. Be proud to be the one he choose to spend his life with. The past doesn't matter because you are his girl now and you'll never hurt him. You make his life better and a hell of a lot easier. There is no reason to fight an ex after all you already one the prize.

Relationships VS The Honeymoon Phase

The honeymoon phase!

  Ah the honeymoon phase. One of the sweetest times in any relationship. For those of you who don't know what the honeymoon phase is let me take a moment to explain. The honeymoon phase is at the beginning of every relationships. It consist of butterflies that feel more like killer bees in your stomach, blushing, everything is all sunshine and rainbows, you guys never fight, he's charming, she's lovely, you smile so much your cheeks heart, your heart pounds, you want you spend all your time together, you can't keep your hands off each other, blowing off plans to hangout with each other, endless PDA, etc.  It is a magical time where you and your partner our just figuring things out and finding out more and more about each other. Admit it! You giggled like a little school girl at his jokes! Alas this phase doesn't last forever. 

   There comes a time where the honeymoon period does end but that doesn't mean the relationship has to end as well. The honeymoon phase tends to end around 6 months to a year. That when most relationship die off or the couple give up because things aren't as easy as it use to be. It doesn't have to be that way. The honeymoon phase doesn't make a relationship what comes after does. When you finally get into a groove as a couple things seem to simmer down. How many time have you said " We act like an old married couple already?!". So tell me what is so wrong with being like and old married couple. I personally love it! The pressure is off now! You can lay around looking a hot mess and your man still loves you! Thing get tough that's how we learn and grow. You may fight a little bit more and cuddle a little bit less but that shouldn't change the way you feel about each other. It should just make you stronger as a couple.  The first year is the easiest, the five years after that are the hardest, but if you tick it through its all down hill after that. 

   Wanna know how to get through the tough years after the honeymoon ends? All is not lost! Even though the honeymoon is over doesn't mean the butterflies and good times have to stop. The main thing to remember is don't forget how to treat each other. Never ever go to bed angry! If you have a fight even if it takes all night talk it through till you get it all out on the table and get everything you need to off your chest. You never go to bed mad at each other because the next day isn't a guarantee. Fighting is a good thing because if you give up fighting then that's when it's over. Say I love you as much as possible you can never say it enough. You don't  need to do big things. A little love note or a surprise romantic dinner date at home with his favorite meal will do the trick nicely. Little everyday reminders are important tell her she beautiful if her sweats and her hair a mess. Tell him that you love him more then the first day you met. Tell each other everything. Be each others best friend. Own up if you make a mistake. Learn together. Grow together. Never give up. That's how you make it work.

keep loving. keep living.

                       xoxo wizzy

Relationships VS Pet Peeves

Relationships vs Pet Peeves 

       It is inevitable in life and relationship to find something that is going to drive you nuts! That little something is called a pet peeve! We all have them. Even the nicest people in the world have pet peeves. It's just human nature to get annoyed. Pet peeves are not big deal and are normal however they can become a issue in a relationship depending on how big the peeve is. 

                                          

       Your significant other can do things that are as annoying or even more annoy then anyone else you come in contact with on  a daily basis.    If you are anything like me you tend to feel bad when it comes time in the relationship where pet peeves start to surface. After all this is the person you love most in the whole world! How can they get on your last nerve the way they do?!  It is very simple. This is the person closest to you on every level. This the person you spend most if not all your time together so sooner or later there are going to be little things here or there that will pluck your nerves.  Every one and every relationship is different. That means not everyone's pet peeves are the same. 

  

                                          

       Pet peeves can go from small annoyances to extreme craziness!  It can be something small like the way they eat, leaving the toilet seat up, putting an empty milk carton back in the fridge, cover hog, stealing food off your plate, hogging the tv remote, or not asking for directions. Then there are bigger pet peeves that can cause fights and even be red flags in the relationship such as always being late, not cleaning up at yourself, saying crude or rude things, money behavior like spending to much money with out talking about it first, knowing your partner need sleep but wakes them up anyway, bad hygiene, or not listen when you have something important to tell them. When you start fighting about pet peeves that when it becomes an issue. Some pet peeves can be caused by a bigger underlining issue in the relationship like trust or respect. 

                  

       Don't sweat the small stuff. When dealing confronting pet peeves prioritize the highly annoying ones. So you don't overwhelm your partner only discuss one or two pet peeves at a time. You don't want to make it sound like a bigger issue then is really is so try your best to be delicate about how you address the issue you can. Try saying something like " This isn't a huge issue but I would really like to talk about it with you.". Only talk about the action that is getting on your nerves not the person his/her self. Remember you love them but you don't love their behavior so focus on the action. For example when approaching the issue say " I really wish you wouldn't leave your dirty clothes on the bathroom floor. Can you please put them in our hamper?" in stead of just saying " You are so lazy.".  After talking about your pet peeves ask them if they are will to work on it instead of coming of bossy or demanding they change their actions. You are not perfect so be prepared for your partner to bring up the pet peeves they have about you. A thank you goes a long way. You check more flies with honey then with vigor after all. Thank them for being willing to change and for listening. If they do make a improvement be sure to thank them for trying. This can be a learning lesson for the both of you. It isn't worth loosing something that could be great over. In stead of holding it in till you blow up try saying something as soon as you notice there could be an issue. Sooner is always better! Keep living! Keep Laughing! Keep loving! 

       

Relationships VS Trust

            

       Trust and Honesty go hand in hand in any good relationship. The recipe for a great long lasting relationship just won't work without these two accentual ingredients. Trust and honesty have to be built strong from day one! A willingness to be vulnerable is a significant feature of  lasting relationships. You want a relationship in which your partner is your allies not your foe. 

                    

    Where there is no trust there is no love and if there is no trust there is no us. Trust is like glass once you break it no matter how much you try to fix it or try to hold it together it not ever gonna be exactly how it was. A relationship with out trust is like have a cell phone that has no service....what do you do with it? You are just playing games on it. Once you break someone's trust it becomes a crack in the relationship. Just like a crack in a car windshield it starts small but with every bump in the road it just gets worse and worse. However you can't just fix your relationship like you would a windshield. Trust takes years to build up but only seconds to fall apart. 

                                     

    

      Once the trust has been broken you'll start rethinking everything starting back to the beginning. Do they mean it when they say they love me? Is it my fault?  Did he really go to the store or did he go somewhere he should be? How do I trust again? Will they lie again? Will I get hurt again? What else have they not been truthful about? You start second guessing everything your partner does or says. You wanna try to mend things but who's to say they won't lie again. You wanna make it work but you can't just pretend to forgive them when you are still hurting. Broken trust just brings tears and fights. So where do you go from here?

                   

      All is not lost! You can fix this crack in the windshield of your relationship. Broken trust is like the rock bottom in a relationship. What happens when you hit rock bottom? There is no place to go but up! There is no magic glue that will fix the trust that has been broken and it won't happen over night. First you have to be honest! If you plan to break that trust again. If you plan to lie again. Then walk away. Someone's heart isn't a cell phone without service. Don't just play games. If you aren't 100 percent invested just walk away. If you do wanna make it work its going to take work. Buying a dozen roses and a million sorrys just isn't gonna cut it. You have to rebuild from the grown up. When rebuilding the strongest foundation you can have is honesty. Once the both of you are ready sit down. This a important part. Even though you are hurt you need to let them come clean without fighting or interrupting. If you don't feel like you are ready to let them be honest without interrupting then wait till you are ready.  Once you sit down and get everything out on the table then you can start healing and moving forward. First after hearing the trust decide if you wanna really make it work and if it worth moving forward.  If it is worth is  Start slow. Don't rethink everything. You have to move forward not back. Give them a chance to make everything right. It will take both sides to make it work. You can't constantly accuse them of lying. If you aren't will to rebuild then walk away. Try your best to avoid a fight. Fighting fixes nothing. Take it slow. Grow. Remember there is no  where to go but up. Keep living. Keep learning. Keep loving.

       

50 Facts About My Relationship

                              

                      50 Facts About My Relationship

1. We met on February 15 at 10:50pm though Facebook! I was feeling at the end of my rope. I was in a very dark place. I was thinking about ending it all that night. I prayed to God to send me someone. Send me a season to live. Little did I know there was someone not that far away who was going through the same thing. I posted a status with my number in it. About 5 minutes later Charlie texted  me "Hi:)". He changed everything. 
2. It was love at first txt. I told him everything about my past, what I have been through, and everything about me. 
3. I am 2 years older then Charlie so he never thought he had a chance and I never thought I was good enough for him.
4. We became  official on February 17, 2010
5. We had our first date on February 27, 2010 at a bowling alley
6. We had our first kiss on my coach on February 28, 2010
7. He was my very first kiss
8. He was 16 and I was 18 when we got together
9. His full name is Charles Rex Hellmann II but if he was born a girl his name would have been Elizabeth Ann Hellmann which is my name.
10. He proposed on our first Valentines day on the swing set at a play ground we went to the first time we saw each other and where we use to always sit and talk. 
11. Our wedding is set for his birthday June 17, 2017
12. He use to take the bus to my house every single day to see me
13. We have been with each other every single day scene the day we first kissed
14. We moved in together in May when we had only been dating 3 months
15. We said I love you for the first time only after 2 weeks of dating
16. We got to see each other graduate High School
17. He was the first guy I every said I love you to
18. He was the first guy I ever made love to
19. We will be together 4 years this February
20. When I had to have surgery he never left my side unless he went to school. He would stay up all night with me then go to school then come right back to the hospital after he got out of school
21. He went to my senor prom and I got to go to his senor and junior prom
22. The first night we every spent the night was up his dad's house in PA
23. The first meal he every made was pop tarts and burritos
24. Every night before bed we say to each other "I love you more. Infinity and Beyond"
25. We never fight. We may disagree time to time but we always talk through it
26. We never go to bed angry
27. We have had a lot of haters though our relationship
28. He plans on being a police officer 
29. We both had very different paths. I had a place and a job lined up in California and he was going to be a marine but we where each other's reasons to stay
30. We grew up only 15 miles from each other
31. He is super close to my little brother and I am super close to his older brother John. 
32. We are truly best friends
33. We tell each other everything and we talk through everything with each other
34. We plan on having three boys Jackson Cash, Ricky James, and Phoenix Rex.
35. We are going to raise all our boys to be football players. NFL here we come!
36. I love our inside secrets and joke
37. He loves the southern charm in my voice and I love his baby blue charming bed room eyes
38. We love to spend out days playing video games together and watching movies
39. Our first summer together we stayed up all night every night and watched movies. We watched every movie in my house by the end of summer.
40. We both went to our first wedding together
41. He was the first boy I ever spent the night with and I was the first girl he spent the night with
42. He LOVES my famous PB&Js
43. We have a very weird love. It is one of a kind for sure but i wouldn't change it for any other love in the world
44. He gives the best hugs
45. He gives the best kisses and he has the sexiest lips
46. He is the nicest guy in the world. He has the biggest heart and finds the best in everyone. 
47. He is so giving. He would give the shirt off his back to anyone who needed it
48. I wish I could be half the person he is
49. He has been told he is so polite it makes people sick. lol
50. Charlie is really the last of a dieing breed. He still believes in treating women like women. He is truly a gentleman. He holds the door open and helps me out of the car. He is my prince charming. He is my everything and I don't deserve him but I am so blessed that fate, God, and destiny brought us together. I don't know what I would do without him in my life. He is my rock. He holds me down. We always have each other's backs. We live life to the fullest and love harder amd more then anyone could ever love someone else. We live every day by our vows. Through sickness and health we have been together. Through thick and thin we stand strong. From richer or poor we make it work. We promise to be true to one another through the good and bad. We will love and honor each other till death do us part. Our love will live on infinity and beyond.