Relationships VS Gift Giving

         

                                      GIFT GIVING

       Getting and reserving gift are great! It is even greater in relationships. Giving a gift is a great way to show the one you love how well you know their personalty and what they like. Gift giving doesn't come easy for everyone. Shopping for gifts can get confusing and stressful! There are so many different types of gift giving events through the year such as birthdays, anniversary, and of course holidays. Here are a few tips to getting the best gift for him or her.

                        

                                        Gifts for her

         Guys don't panic! I know how stressful it must be to shop for that special gift for that special lady. Here are a few tips to keep in mind while shopping. 1) What is the occasion? :  Occasion means everything! You tend to go bigger the bigger the occasion. Sometimes more goes into the gift for different occasions. For your anniversary take your lady got on a romantic dinner to a place that really means something special in your relationship like where you had your first date. If you can manage not to burn down your home make her her favorite meal. For her birthday plan a surprise birthday party for her! Invite all her closest friends and family. 2) Her like and dislikes. While shopping keep in mind her favorite, scents, colors, brands, actors, authors, stores, and styles. 3) Listen! She will drop hints fellas so keep your ears open! She will guide you to the gifts she has been wanting. Now for some gift ideas!

•  FOR THE MUSIC LOVER! : If your lady is a singer or musician some great gifts would be Beats head phones ( $110 +), A itunes gift card, Her favorite artist new album ( $20 ), A mix CD of all her favorite songs, if you are musically gifted write and perform a song just for her, or take her out to a concert that she has been dying to go to. 
• FOR THE MAKEUP AND FASHION LOVER! : Plan her a day of beauty! Take her to get her hair, makeup and nails done then pick a spending limit and take her on a shopping spree. Then pick her out a special outfit to take her out to a special dinner.
• FOR THE BOOKWORM! : Buy her a kindle or nook and add a few of her favorite books or a few of her favorite authors. Buy her a year subscription to her favorite magazines.
• FOR THE JEWELRY LOVER! : DIAMONDS ARE ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA! Know her sizes, her favorite color, her favorite gems, her favorite cuts, and designers.
• FOR THE TRAVELER! : Pack your bags boys! Take her on a romantic get away for two. Take her to her favorite place or somewhere she has always wanted to visit.
• FOR THE MOVIE BUFF! : Take her to a romantic movie that she has been dying to see, cuddle up on the coach have a marathon of her favorite movies, take her to a drive in movie or a movie in the park. 

                                 

                                    GIFTS FOR HIM

        Lets face it ladies we live for getting gifts and shopping for them! We will take any reason to head to the mall! Guys are super easy to please and even easier to shop for but of course we go the extra mile to make it special.  We as woman tend to wanna out do everyone else same goes for gifts! The better the gift the better girlfriend you are. The problem with being such good gift givers is we have to out due that gift the next Christmas or birthday! If you just started shopping for the guy you just started dating and  you really wanna impress him here are a few gift ideas.

• THE GAMER GUY! : Get this fellas the newest hottest game that he has been wanting ( $60 ) up that by getting him the special edition of that game. Get him a new customized controller or head set. If the game he really wants isn't out go ahead and pre-order is for him. If you really have some extra cash and really REALLY love him get him the newest consoles. 
• THE SPORTS FAN! : Take your man to see his favorite teams play. Buy him his favorite team member jersey. Buy him any sports related!
• THE EATER! : Make him his favorite meal with a little something something special for dessert.
• THE NERD! : Buy him all the new electronics! Ipods, Beats, New desktop computer or laptop, kindle or nook, or the smartest smart phone
• THE CAR LOVER : Take him to a car show.
• THE BLING BLING GUY! : A new watch, ring, or necklaces. Matching jewelry always cute and special.

                     

       My best advice is you don't have to spread millions of dollars for something to be special. After all the most special gift you give to him/her you give to them every moment everyday. The great gift you can give someone his your heart, endless love, and affection. Diamonds lose their sparkle, we grow out of clothes, and the newest games or technology is always yesterdays news. All the must have material things just wide up sitting around just collecting dust. What really sticks is what comes from the heart. A romantic love note, A good romantic home cooked meal, a home made mix tape made up of all those romantic love songs that mean the most, a slow dance under the stars, a walk on the beach, or a home message. Make something that they will treasure for a life time. True love never dulls its spark. A heart never collects dust. Make it come from the heart. Make your gift mean something special. Keeping living. Keep loving.

                                                                                                                                                                                             xoxo wizzy  

Relationships VS Personal Space

      


                                                 RELATIONSHIPS VS PERSONAL SPACE



       Boundaries and personal space can become some what challenging in growing relationships. The invasion of personal space usually comes later in relationship. Invasion of personal space can occurs when a couple desires to move in together for the first time.  Here is a few ways to handle if your personal space is being invaded in a relationship.


                   


      Woohoo! What an excited time in your relationship! You have decided to move into together! This may feel a little strange but wonderful for those of you moving in with someone other then your parents for the first time! It was great at first. Just the two of you. Cuddling. Watching movies. Walking around naked. Slowly falling a sleep in each other's arms. No rules. You are free to do what you want to do. You are officially playing house. After a few months you start to feel....invaded. It isn't bad to feel that way but know that the invasion isn't being done on purpose. You start to notice it slowly. You start to feel a little crapped and uncomfortable. For the fellas it may be a shock seeing tampons in the bathroom and all of a sudden your killer dude pad is now pink and frilly. For the ladies things might not be so ladies like anymore. It is ok that he farts it may be horrifying at first but for the sack of love we endure their smells and sounds.


                          


    When personal space is being invaded it is important to respect boundaries. Make sure to take some me time when you feel like you need a little space. Go for a walk. Take a bubble bath. Take a drive. Take the dog to the park. Go shopping. Read. Get a message. Meditate. Go to the gym. Go for a run. Write. Build something. Crafts. Take up a hobby or class.  It is ok to take some separate time from each other. It is health for the relationship and will avoid may explosive arguments. Me time can even save a relationship.


                  


        If you are experiencing some invasion of space talk through it right away! This issue really isn't a big one so don't make a big deal over it. Set boundaries. Set some guild line but not rules! Be like "Hun can you please not turn off my tv shoe to put on the game? Please ask me first. If I can watch my show later you can watch the game. Just ask." or "Hey babe. Can you make sure to clean up all your makeup and put it away so I can have room for my stuff in the bathroom?"  Each of you every week set some me time a side for yourselves. Communication is the key to fixing any mishap or problem in any relationship. Remember. Keep living. Keep learning. Keeping Laughing. Keep loving.

Relationship VS Friendships

   

Relationship VS Friendships

       Relationships and friendships are a like in so many ways. They both can be toxic or amazing. They both good or bad can be life changing in so many different ways. They can both be positive or heart breaking. It all depends on the person and the people in the relationship.

                                                    

       Personally I have my fair share of failed friendships. I'll see someone from high school that I use to be really close to and itll just be a hi and bye. The way I feel is as you grow ether people grow with you or they drift away. It's very sad it's true but that's just how life rolls. Then there are times where you are made to cut ties with a friend. That's my life story! My best friend of 14 years I had to cut ties with because of lies and jealousy. Friendships for me where full of drama and headache so I decided I just didn't need that negative in my life.

                                 

        My husband on the other hand is total opposite! He feels if he doesn't have his group of friends he has a empty hole. He feels like male companies is a must to a complete happy life. He likes to go to the gym with his bros and party's with his group of friends. He even has man dates with his best friend. He also plays video games with his bros. I do understand where my husband is comeing from. Companionship is important in life. For me my husband is my bestfriend. He is the one I talk about everything with. He is the one I want to spend all my time with. I share everything with him. We laugh together. We cry together. Noone understands me like my husband does. I rather stay in with a movie then go out and party. I dont need anyone else because I have him and that's all I want. My husband is also younger then me by two years. He is 20 and I am 22. Because he is so young he still feels the need to go out with his friends. I don't complain about him hanging out with his friends. I go to his friends party's, put on a nice smile, and try my best to fit in with everyone. Just because I put on a pretty face doesn't mean that his friendships don't bother me sometimes.


                                    
     His friends and even their parents have had negative things to say about out relationship. Me and my husband have been together for 3 years but he friends think I make him grow up too fast. That's been a problem for me because I have never pressured my husband with anything. I just get upset because I don't feel like its ok for him to be spending the night with his best friend 3 nights out of the week leave me all alone. We both work so we hardly get any time together all ready so the time we do have is really precious to me. I am his wife and there has to be a time when I can say ok I think it's time we had alone time. Maybe even take me on a date instead of your best friend.


                              
     I love my husband dearly and I know his friends mean alot to him so I just let him do his thing because I know as he gets older he'll settle down more. So ladies my advice for you if your husband or boyfriend is having a bromance or like spending time with his friends just go with it. Even spends some time with him and his friends. He'll really appreciate that you know what is important to him and you don't push him. But know when to cross the line. Know when to say ok I need some love over here please.:) if his friendships really bother you tell him! Talk it out. I know it may fell like it some times but he can't read your mind. He can't make it better if you don't tell him what's what.
   Keep loving. Keep living.
                     Xoxo wizzy

Relationships VS Exs

                                


                                                                  Relationship VS Exs




         Ex's...some of them move on with their lives but then you have the ones who don't want you but don't want you to be with anyone else. Of course you know the type. The ones who can go out with anyone but don't want you to be happy. I noticed that it more happens with girls then guys! Ex's are hard to get over depending on the relationship. They really do like to mess things up when you find something good.

                    

        Now Exs were a big problem when me and my husband first started dating. He didn't have the best track record before we met. There was only two of his ex's that really bothered me. We will call them EX A and Ex B. Well Ex B wasn't anything really serious. She was one of those....there really isn't a nice word for it....sluts! I am really not being judge mental she really was a slut. She would sleep with a guy just because he gave her a ride home from the party! Really girl just give him gas money not your vagina! Their relationship really didn't last long but once me and my husband started dating she came out of the wood work. She would txt him asking him for birthday sex and asking if me and him had sex! Who does that! After that my husband deleted her number for good! Now Ex A was a little more serious....he even said he thought she was the one. She was the type of girl who liked to play head games with people. She really hurt my husband but when we met of course I fixed all that! The first night we met he said he knew I was the real girl he was going to grow old with. Ex A really didn't like that she even told him I was only of his brilliant mistake and that we never last. She even got really pissed because he didn't say hi to her while me and him where on a date. Back when they dated she told him she fell out of love with him then wanted him back when she got bord. He finally cut ties with her then met me about a month later. Even after 4 years she still wants him to run back to her. She is the ex that doesn't want the guy but doesn't want anyone else to be happy with him.

                     

        Now they don't always have to have had a romantic relationship or been bf and gf to be an ex. Their are also sometimes the sex Exs. The girls they hooked up with, fuck buddies, one night stands, and the sexting buddies. Luckily i haven't had much trouble with these exs! No its normal for guys to sexting buddies. Most guys and girls have them now a days. My husband had one who he was very close friends with. It really didn't bother me at first because the past is the past i am the future. Then she started to try to sext him while me and him where together. So not ok! Then my husband match her and his best friend up. It was so awkward being around her. She would always check him.out and tried being really flirty with him. Turns out she had been cheating the whole year she had been with my husbands best friend. Thankfully none of us talk to her anymore.


                         

   Exs have been one of my biggest speed pumps in my relationship because i hated seeing how much they hurt him and wanted to hurt us. So here is some advice. Release that your his upgrade! Don't stoop to their level! you are better then the rest that is why he is with you and not them. If he really wanted them he would still be after them. He is with you because you are ment to be together. When you do happen to run ito his ex smile big, hold onto his arm, and lay a big kiss on him! show them what they let go and are never getting back. Be proud to be the one he choose to spend his life with. The past doesn't matter because you are his girl now and you'll never hurt him. You make his life better and a hell of a lot easier. There is no reason to fight an ex after all you already one the prize.

Relationships VS The Honeymoon Phase

The honeymoon phase!

  Ah the honeymoon phase. One of the sweetest times in any relationship. For those of you who don't know what the honeymoon phase is let me take a moment to explain. The honeymoon phase is at the beginning of every relationships. It consist of butterflies that feel more like killer bees in your stomach, blushing, everything is all sunshine and rainbows, you guys never fight, he's charming, she's lovely, you smile so much your cheeks heart, your heart pounds, you want you spend all your time together, you can't keep your hands off each other, blowing off plans to hangout with each other, endless PDA, etc.  It is a magical time where you and your partner our just figuring things out and finding out more and more about each other. Admit it! You giggled like a little school girl at his jokes! Alas this phase doesn't last forever. 

   There comes a time where the honeymoon period does end but that doesn't mean the relationship has to end as well. The honeymoon phase tends to end around 6 months to a year. That when most relationship die off or the couple give up because things aren't as easy as it use to be. It doesn't have to be that way. The honeymoon phase doesn't make a relationship what comes after does. When you finally get into a groove as a couple things seem to simmer down. How many time have you said " We act like an old married couple already?!". So tell me what is so wrong with being like and old married couple. I personally love it! The pressure is off now! You can lay around looking a hot mess and your man still loves you! Thing get tough that's how we learn and grow. You may fight a little bit more and cuddle a little bit less but that shouldn't change the way you feel about each other. It should just make you stronger as a couple.  The first year is the easiest, the five years after that are the hardest, but if you tick it through its all down hill after that. 

   Wanna know how to get through the tough years after the honeymoon ends? All is not lost! Even though the honeymoon is over doesn't mean the butterflies and good times have to stop. The main thing to remember is don't forget how to treat each other. Never ever go to bed angry! If you have a fight even if it takes all night talk it through till you get it all out on the table and get everything you need to off your chest. You never go to bed mad at each other because the next day isn't a guarantee. Fighting is a good thing because if you give up fighting then that's when it's over. Say I love you as much as possible you can never say it enough. You don't  need to do big things. A little love note or a surprise romantic dinner date at home with his favorite meal will do the trick nicely. Little everyday reminders are important tell her she beautiful if her sweats and her hair a mess. Tell him that you love him more then the first day you met. Tell each other everything. Be each others best friend. Own up if you make a mistake. Learn together. Grow together. Never give up. That's how you make it work.

keep loving. keep living.

                       xoxo wizzy

Relationships VS Sex

Relationships VS Sex

       Sex and intimacy is very important in healthy relationship! Making love is a key way to connect with your partner on all levels. Lets face it making love in real life is far from what we see in the movies or read in our romance novels. If there you and your partner are talking about making that first step into intimacy or if you are a couple who are just looking to spice up things in the bed room I've got some sexy tips, tricks, and advice for you love birds! 

                                            

       Movies and romance novels make making love look so simple, easy, and perfect! That is just not how it works in real life. Sometimes positions don't always work and sometimes things just don't go as planned. Sometimes you may even get some weird body sounds. The most important thing is to be ready and be relaxed. Don't put too much pressure on yourself if you aren't ready then take your time! If your partner truly loves you and wants to be with you he/she will wait till you are ready. Before you can truly make love you have to love yourself. You have to love your body. You have to feel confident and sexy in your own skin. If you don't feel comfortable in your skin then you won't be comfortable when it comes time to make love. Take as much time as you need. If your partner is willing to wait but get antsy there are other things you can do with out having sex. If you aren't ready to make love but are comfortable about exploring other ways  of intimacy there are a few things you and your partner can try and can even bring you closer as a couple. 1) A make out session! Just relax and go with it. kissing can be so powerful and passionate that you don't even have to take your clothes off to enjoy it. 2) Some heavy petting 3) Male attention. If your man is being patient about waiting you should reward him with some special attention just for him! 4) Intimate messages 5) Masturbation. Touching yourself and each other can be great from getting sexually comfortable with each other. Once you are ready make it special. Plan a date that is special to the relationship. Talk it over with your partner. Plan a special night for the both of you. Make a nice dinner, light a few candles, draw a warm bubble bath for two, play some soft music, take your time with each other, get to know each other's bodies, and above all enjoy each other.

                                                                                                                                                               
                             


      You would think as you get older and as your relationship mature that sex and intimacy would get easier! Everyday stresses such as work, bills, money, children, and school can really hit hard in the bed room. Once you are officially a grown up and out on your own you become stressed out,tired, and just completely out of energy. After dealing with work, bills that need to be paid, annoying people, and hyper children all day the last think you wanna do is be sexy at the end of the night. After a hard day once your head hit the people you are normal knocked out! Sadly it has become ok to put intimacy on the back burner due to everyday life! That is so not ok! It is important to keep the fire burning in your relationship. It is important to be passionate with the man or woman you love. You still need to feel like a sexy woman and a wanted man.Some people let life get to them so much they stop kissing and even talking. To keep the passion going it is important to take some time out of life to be together and to be romantic. Here are a few things to keeping it hot in a long term relationship. 1) Date night! You should at least go out every two weeks on a romantic date. Go to a nice quite dinner, a romantic walk through a park or beach, catch the movie that you both been dying to see, or go to a concert. 2) A romantic get away. It doesn't have to be every month but once in a blue moon when you have a little extra money in the bank it is ok to go on a romantic weekend trip! The grandparents will love to have the grand-babies for a visit. 3)Dressing up! Trow in something sexy! Try a fun costume or lingerie. 4) Message oils and Lubricants. Have fun go shopping together and pick out new spicy things to try in the bed room.


                 


      Making love is all about loving yourself and your soul mate. It is about being full into your own body as well as your partners body. It isn't all about feeling good. It is about connecting on a new level. It is about becoming one with each other body and spirit. It is important to take your time if you aren't ready and not letting the fire die out. Remember that it is important with every new sexual relationship to protect your self and your partner. One of the first things to talk about when starting a sexual relationship is getting tested. You and your partner should both get tested before become sexually active. Talk about protection from pregnancy and STDS. Visit your doctor and make sure you are ready for sex. This is a big step in a relationship don't take it lightly. If your sex life isn't as steamy as it once one just add a little spice to it. Dress up and go out! Even on your most stressful days at the end of the night cuddle up and just talk about your day. If you don't have time for a full on date night schedule some mini dates during the week like a lunch date in the park. Practice make perfect! Don't sweat the small stuff! Have fun! Keep living! Keep loving!

Relationships VS Abuse

Relationships VS Abuse

       Abuse is something I can sadly say I know a lot about. I have witnessed and been abused on many levels. There are a lot of different levels to abuse. Sadly abuse happens in 1.5 million relationships per year. 4,000 women die each year from dating or relationship abuse. Studies show that one in ten high school students admit to being slapped, hit, or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend. I am 1 out of them 1.5 million women. Here is my story.

                                                   

       Abuse started in my life when i was growing in my mother's womb.  My father who was abused as a child started abusing my mother not very soon after the got married. Once they got married she was his property in his eyes. His and his only. Even though they lived next door to her family she wasn't aloud to see or speak to them. My grandmother was going through breast cancer and my mother couldn't even be there for here. Even she got pregnant with me the abuse just got worse and worse. To make sure she wouldn't leave the house he would put furniture up against the door so she couldn't get out. He would count all the food and drinks at the house. The only time my mother could eat was when my father aloud her to. He said what she eat, how much, and when. When my mother was only 7 months pregnant with me my father decided to go on a rampage. He threw her over the coach and started beating her with no mercy. He beat her so back he threw her into early labor. I was born 2 months early on May 5 1991. Because of all the distress I had rapped the cord around my neck. They had to preform emergency c-section to save me and my mother. My grandmother says that I was saved by amazing grace.

       Everything was good for a while. My father stopped hitting my mom for about a year then he started hitting on me instead. When my mom had to go to work and he didn't want to deal with me he lock me in my car seat. Once when I wouldn't stop crying he threw the car seat with me in it at the wall. Then he sat back down to watch tv. I had a minor concussion. My mother said I fell. She seemed to say that a lot. The beatings just kept coming. I use to cry out for my mother but she wouldn't stop it she wouldn't help me. Thanks to that we don't have that mother daughter relationship that I always wanted. One time when I was 5 years old it was hot because it was summertime. My father was sitting in front of the tv eating dinner. I didn't think and took a sip of his soda. In return he stabbed me in the shoulder with his streak knife.  This time my mother couldn't say I just fell. Instead of taking me to get stitches she put a bunch of band-aids on it and hoped for the best. My mother tried running once but he caught up to us and with his own daughter in the car ran us off the roads. The beatings went up till I was 7 years old. Then one day he was just gone and so was everything else. He took everything even the nails on the walls! Even though he was gone it was finally ok. We where finally at peace. We had nothing. Not a cent in the bank so we moved in with my mom's parents. 

                                           

       The yelling stopped. The beatings stop. I was in a safe place. No one else was going to hurt me. I had no idea what to do with the hurt and pain the was inside me. My family believe therapy meant you where weak. So I kept it all inside. When I turned 10 years old I started hanging out with older kids that where up to no good. They would all steal alcohol from their parents then we would all go down to that park and pass bottles around. With that first sip I realized here was something that finally took away the pain. Once it took the pain away I didn't want to stop. I didn't stop. I kept drinking. I kept being around people I shouldn't.  When I was 13 i was drugged and raped at a party. I was a virgin. Three older guys bet who could get me into bed first. I woke up alone, naked, scared, hurting, and feeling lost. I ran as fast as I could home. Then cried myself into a bottle of jack. The next day I was tell a friend was happened to me and she said she could help. That was the first time I did cocaine. From their it was a downward spiral. I did every drug i could get my hands on and their wasn't a single moment in the day where i didn't have a drink handy. When I was a sophomore in high school I met a guy. A guy who was 10 years older them me. He was a popular underground music producer in out part scene. He loured me in with lie and lie. Till I was trapped. I became his pawn in his game of life. He raped, controlled, terrified, and beat me. I couldn't do anything with out him knowing. It was a living nightmare. I was always being watched. Once when I tried fighting back he put a gun in my face. He pulled the trigger with no hesitation but the gun was empty. So instead he tried beating me to death with the gun I passed out. I woke up somewhere in a gutter the next morning. I hadn't been sober in 6 years till the day I found out I was pregnant with my son LeeLand. Unlike my mother i fought back and ran away. Far away. There was no way I was going to let any man hurt my child the way men hurt me my whole life. 

                                                    

        

       I met Charlie my fiancee when I was just turning 4 months pregnant. The first night we met was so magical. For the first time in my life someone was there who wanted to listen and who wanted to help. I could really talk to him. I told him everything that night. The abuse, drinking, drugs, and my pregnancy. After hear everything he still wanted to be with me. He was willing to raise and love Lee like his own son. He really loved me. He reallyed loved the real me. He saw the woman I could be. Who i wanted to be. Only a few weeks after me and Charlie got together the withdraws finally took over and i went into early labor. I thought if I just laid in bed then I could fight the pain. That it would just go away. Then I started bleeding. I went to the hospital. A few hours later I delivered a still born baby boy.  With the loose of my LeeLand it would have been so easy to relapse into my old ways. If I didn't have Charlie I would have died. He kept me strong. He was truly my light in the darkest of times. He taught me i was worth being loved. He taught me what love truly is. Thanks to him I have been sober for almost 4 years. 

                    

       There are many different types of abuse. There is the obvious physical and emotional abuse but there is also verbal and mental abuse. I am not trying to give guys a bad name and put it all on them. I have scene cases where women abuse the men! There are men out there who would never hit a women but get into a relationship where a women beats on them. Physical abuse is when someone purposely  inflicts injury or pain onto another person. Emotional abuse can cause  anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Verbal abuse is when something is said to someone that is demeaning or hurtful. Mental abuse is when the abuse messes with your head like " You are worthless" or "You can't leave no one else will want you.". A abusive relationship consist of all these different types of abuse. 

                

       Women sell them selves out for roses and a box of chocolates. We given in to I love you, I'm sorry, and I won't do it again. Don't sell yourself so short. You are worth it! You are worthy of being loved and being happy. If your relationship showed signs of abuse run why you still can run. One hit, push, slap, mean word, punch is all one to many. Don't fall for the I love yous and I won't do it agains. They will do it again and again until you are death or gone. Take my advice tell a friend, teacher, family member or anyone you can trust. Go to support groups. Go to the police. Go to a safe place like a church, family home, shelters for abused women and children, or friends home. Go somewhere he or she can't find you. Take your time to heal. Go to therapy. Going doesn't mean you are weak. Go to meetings. Talk to families and friends. Take your time before starting to date again. Let yourself heal and grow again. Find your strength again. Keep loving. Keep living. Keep laughing. The greatest gift is to love and be love in return.