Life Update: 5 years in love!!!

                                5 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

         Hello my lovers!!! I'm finally back!! I apologize for falling behind yet again with my blogs. If you follow me on any of my social media you would know that I have been M.I.A due to our car being in the shop. Due to not due to not having a car we had to stay closer to the city at my family home. That means I had no laptop or products! I didn't know what to do with myself! I really missed writing for my loves! Any who I am back in business! Though this week was a stressful one it was a very joyous one! This past Tuesday Febuary 17th me and Charlie celebrated our 5th anniversary! I can not believe it has been 5 years. It seems like yesterday that we first met. Where has the time gone? I guess what they say is true...time really does fly when you are having fun! Despite all the stress of our car we managed to have a beautiful anniversary. I made the video above for my love and his reaction to it was priceless. He watched it and was so moved he had happy tears. He said it was the best gift I could ever give him and it meant so much to him. His reaction was so full of love and affection. He just kept saying how much he love me and how beautiful I am. Something so small meant so much to him. Seeing him love the video so much really made me feel good. It made our day even more special. With no car we had to walk to dinner in the frizzing cold. It didn't matter to us because we where warm with love for each other. We went to dinner at Red Robin because it was close to where we where staying. Dinner was amazing! Everything was perfect from the dinner to the service. The whole dinner he never let go of my hands. It was such a romantic night in the simplest of ways. We have grown so much in these past 5 years. We went from being fools in love to a mature married couple. Everyday we continue to grow and build our future together. We both have stable jobs and a home of our own. He is such an amazing man! It really takes a special man to deal with a woman like me. He make me wanna be a better woman and I can't thank him enough for that. He showed me a I could love and be loved in return. He showed me that I could trust someone. He is the reason my heart beats fast and slow at the same time. I can not wait to see what our future holds for us! Thanks for reading!

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Relationships VS Exs

                                


                                                                  Relationship VS Exs




         Ex's...some of them move on with their lives but then you have the ones who don't want you but don't want you to be with anyone else. Of course you know the type. The ones who can go out with anyone but don't want you to be happy. I noticed that it more happens with girls then guys! Ex's are hard to get over depending on the relationship. They really do like to mess things up when you find something good.

                    

        Now Exs were a big problem when me and my husband first started dating. He didn't have the best track record before we met. There was only two of his ex's that really bothered me. We will call them EX A and Ex B. Well Ex B wasn't anything really serious. She was one of those....there really isn't a nice word for it....sluts! I am really not being judge mental she really was a slut. She would sleep with a guy just because he gave her a ride home from the party! Really girl just give him gas money not your vagina! Their relationship really didn't last long but once me and my husband started dating she came out of the wood work. She would txt him asking him for birthday sex and asking if me and him had sex! Who does that! After that my husband deleted her number for good! Now Ex A was a little more serious....he even said he thought she was the one. She was the type of girl who liked to play head games with people. She really hurt my husband but when we met of course I fixed all that! The first night we met he said he knew I was the real girl he was going to grow old with. Ex A really didn't like that she even told him I was only of his brilliant mistake and that we never last. She even got really pissed because he didn't say hi to her while me and him where on a date. Back when they dated she told him she fell out of love with him then wanted him back when she got bord. He finally cut ties with her then met me about a month later. Even after 4 years she still wants him to run back to her. She is the ex that doesn't want the guy but doesn't want anyone else to be happy with him.

                     

        Now they don't always have to have had a romantic relationship or been bf and gf to be an ex. Their are also sometimes the sex Exs. The girls they hooked up with, fuck buddies, one night stands, and the sexting buddies. Luckily i haven't had much trouble with these exs! No its normal for guys to sexting buddies. Most guys and girls have them now a days. My husband had one who he was very close friends with. It really didn't bother me at first because the past is the past i am the future. Then she started to try to sext him while me and him where together. So not ok! Then my husband match her and his best friend up. It was so awkward being around her. She would always check him.out and tried being really flirty with him. Turns out she had been cheating the whole year she had been with my husbands best friend. Thankfully none of us talk to her anymore.


                         

   Exs have been one of my biggest speed pumps in my relationship because i hated seeing how much they hurt him and wanted to hurt us. So here is some advice. Release that your his upgrade! Don't stoop to their level! you are better then the rest that is why he is with you and not them. If he really wanted them he would still be after them. He is with you because you are ment to be together. When you do happen to run ito his ex smile big, hold onto his arm, and lay a big kiss on him! show them what they let go and are never getting back. Be proud to be the one he choose to spend his life with. The past doesn't matter because you are his girl now and you'll never hurt him. You make his life better and a hell of a lot easier. There is no reason to fight an ex after all you already one the prize.

Relationships VS The Honeymoon Phase

The honeymoon phase!

  Ah the honeymoon phase. One of the sweetest times in any relationship. For those of you who don't know what the honeymoon phase is let me take a moment to explain. The honeymoon phase is at the beginning of every relationships. It consist of butterflies that feel more like killer bees in your stomach, blushing, everything is all sunshine and rainbows, you guys never fight, he's charming, she's lovely, you smile so much your cheeks heart, your heart pounds, you want you spend all your time together, you can't keep your hands off each other, blowing off plans to hangout with each other, endless PDA, etc.  It is a magical time where you and your partner our just figuring things out and finding out more and more about each other. Admit it! You giggled like a little school girl at his jokes! Alas this phase doesn't last forever. 

   There comes a time where the honeymoon period does end but that doesn't mean the relationship has to end as well. The honeymoon phase tends to end around 6 months to a year. That when most relationship die off or the couple give up because things aren't as easy as it use to be. It doesn't have to be that way. The honeymoon phase doesn't make a relationship what comes after does. When you finally get into a groove as a couple things seem to simmer down. How many time have you said " We act like an old married couple already?!". So tell me what is so wrong with being like and old married couple. I personally love it! The pressure is off now! You can lay around looking a hot mess and your man still loves you! Thing get tough that's how we learn and grow. You may fight a little bit more and cuddle a little bit less but that shouldn't change the way you feel about each other. It should just make you stronger as a couple.  The first year is the easiest, the five years after that are the hardest, but if you tick it through its all down hill after that. 

   Wanna know how to get through the tough years after the honeymoon ends? All is not lost! Even though the honeymoon is over doesn't mean the butterflies and good times have to stop. The main thing to remember is don't forget how to treat each other. Never ever go to bed angry! If you have a fight even if it takes all night talk it through till you get it all out on the table and get everything you need to off your chest. You never go to bed mad at each other because the next day isn't a guarantee. Fighting is a good thing because if you give up fighting then that's when it's over. Say I love you as much as possible you can never say it enough. You don't  need to do big things. A little love note or a surprise romantic dinner date at home with his favorite meal will do the trick nicely. Little everyday reminders are important tell her she beautiful if her sweats and her hair a mess. Tell him that you love him more then the first day you met. Tell each other everything. Be each others best friend. Own up if you make a mistake. Learn together. Grow together. Never give up. That's how you make it work.

keep loving. keep living.

                       xoxo wizzy

Relationships VS Sex

Relationships VS Sex

       Sex and intimacy is very important in healthy relationship! Making love is a key way to connect with your partner on all levels. Lets face it making love in real life is far from what we see in the movies or read in our romance novels. If there you and your partner are talking about making that first step into intimacy or if you are a couple who are just looking to spice up things in the bed room I've got some sexy tips, tricks, and advice for you love birds! 

                                            

       Movies and romance novels make making love look so simple, easy, and perfect! That is just not how it works in real life. Sometimes positions don't always work and sometimes things just don't go as planned. Sometimes you may even get some weird body sounds. The most important thing is to be ready and be relaxed. Don't put too much pressure on yourself if you aren't ready then take your time! If your partner truly loves you and wants to be with you he/she will wait till you are ready. Before you can truly make love you have to love yourself. You have to love your body. You have to feel confident and sexy in your own skin. If you don't feel comfortable in your skin then you won't be comfortable when it comes time to make love. Take as much time as you need. If your partner is willing to wait but get antsy there are other things you can do with out having sex. If you aren't ready to make love but are comfortable about exploring other ways  of intimacy there are a few things you and your partner can try and can even bring you closer as a couple. 1) A make out session! Just relax and go with it. kissing can be so powerful and passionate that you don't even have to take your clothes off to enjoy it. 2) Some heavy petting 3) Male attention. If your man is being patient about waiting you should reward him with some special attention just for him! 4) Intimate messages 5) Masturbation. Touching yourself and each other can be great from getting sexually comfortable with each other. Once you are ready make it special. Plan a date that is special to the relationship. Talk it over with your partner. Plan a special night for the both of you. Make a nice dinner, light a few candles, draw a warm bubble bath for two, play some soft music, take your time with each other, get to know each other's bodies, and above all enjoy each other.

                                                                                                                                                               
                             


      You would think as you get older and as your relationship mature that sex and intimacy would get easier! Everyday stresses such as work, bills, money, children, and school can really hit hard in the bed room. Once you are officially a grown up and out on your own you become stressed out,tired, and just completely out of energy. After dealing with work, bills that need to be paid, annoying people, and hyper children all day the last think you wanna do is be sexy at the end of the night. After a hard day once your head hit the people you are normal knocked out! Sadly it has become ok to put intimacy on the back burner due to everyday life! That is so not ok! It is important to keep the fire burning in your relationship. It is important to be passionate with the man or woman you love. You still need to feel like a sexy woman and a wanted man.Some people let life get to them so much they stop kissing and even talking. To keep the passion going it is important to take some time out of life to be together and to be romantic. Here are a few things to keeping it hot in a long term relationship. 1) Date night! You should at least go out every two weeks on a romantic date. Go to a nice quite dinner, a romantic walk through a park or beach, catch the movie that you both been dying to see, or go to a concert. 2) A romantic get away. It doesn't have to be every month but once in a blue moon when you have a little extra money in the bank it is ok to go on a romantic weekend trip! The grandparents will love to have the grand-babies for a visit. 3)Dressing up! Trow in something sexy! Try a fun costume or lingerie. 4) Message oils and Lubricants. Have fun go shopping together and pick out new spicy things to try in the bed room.


                 


      Making love is all about loving yourself and your soul mate. It is about being full into your own body as well as your partners body. It isn't all about feeling good. It is about connecting on a new level. It is about becoming one with each other body and spirit. It is important to take your time if you aren't ready and not letting the fire die out. Remember that it is important with every new sexual relationship to protect your self and your partner. One of the first things to talk about when starting a sexual relationship is getting tested. You and your partner should both get tested before become sexually active. Talk about protection from pregnancy and STDS. Visit your doctor and make sure you are ready for sex. This is a big step in a relationship don't take it lightly. If your sex life isn't as steamy as it once one just add a little spice to it. Dress up and go out! Even on your most stressful days at the end of the night cuddle up and just talk about your day. If you don't have time for a full on date night schedule some mini dates during the week like a lunch date in the park. Practice make perfect! Don't sweat the small stuff! Have fun! Keep living! Keep loving!

Relationships VS Abuse

Relationships VS Abuse

       Abuse is something I can sadly say I know a lot about. I have witnessed and been abused on many levels. There are a lot of different levels to abuse. Sadly abuse happens in 1.5 million relationships per year. 4,000 women die each year from dating or relationship abuse. Studies show that one in ten high school students admit to being slapped, hit, or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend. I am 1 out of them 1.5 million women. Here is my story.

                                                   

       Abuse started in my life when i was growing in my mother's womb.  My father who was abused as a child started abusing my mother not very soon after the got married. Once they got married she was his property in his eyes. His and his only. Even though they lived next door to her family she wasn't aloud to see or speak to them. My grandmother was going through breast cancer and my mother couldn't even be there for here. Even she got pregnant with me the abuse just got worse and worse. To make sure she wouldn't leave the house he would put furniture up against the door so she couldn't get out. He would count all the food and drinks at the house. The only time my mother could eat was when my father aloud her to. He said what she eat, how much, and when. When my mother was only 7 months pregnant with me my father decided to go on a rampage. He threw her over the coach and started beating her with no mercy. He beat her so back he threw her into early labor. I was born 2 months early on May 5 1991. Because of all the distress I had rapped the cord around my neck. They had to preform emergency c-section to save me and my mother. My grandmother says that I was saved by amazing grace.

       Everything was good for a while. My father stopped hitting my mom for about a year then he started hitting on me instead. When my mom had to go to work and he didn't want to deal with me he lock me in my car seat. Once when I wouldn't stop crying he threw the car seat with me in it at the wall. Then he sat back down to watch tv. I had a minor concussion. My mother said I fell. She seemed to say that a lot. The beatings just kept coming. I use to cry out for my mother but she wouldn't stop it she wouldn't help me. Thanks to that we don't have that mother daughter relationship that I always wanted. One time when I was 5 years old it was hot because it was summertime. My father was sitting in front of the tv eating dinner. I didn't think and took a sip of his soda. In return he stabbed me in the shoulder with his streak knife.  This time my mother couldn't say I just fell. Instead of taking me to get stitches she put a bunch of band-aids on it and hoped for the best. My mother tried running once but he caught up to us and with his own daughter in the car ran us off the roads. The beatings went up till I was 7 years old. Then one day he was just gone and so was everything else. He took everything even the nails on the walls! Even though he was gone it was finally ok. We where finally at peace. We had nothing. Not a cent in the bank so we moved in with my mom's parents. 

                                           

       The yelling stopped. The beatings stop. I was in a safe place. No one else was going to hurt me. I had no idea what to do with the hurt and pain the was inside me. My family believe therapy meant you where weak. So I kept it all inside. When I turned 10 years old I started hanging out with older kids that where up to no good. They would all steal alcohol from their parents then we would all go down to that park and pass bottles around. With that first sip I realized here was something that finally took away the pain. Once it took the pain away I didn't want to stop. I didn't stop. I kept drinking. I kept being around people I shouldn't.  When I was 13 i was drugged and raped at a party. I was a virgin. Three older guys bet who could get me into bed first. I woke up alone, naked, scared, hurting, and feeling lost. I ran as fast as I could home. Then cried myself into a bottle of jack. The next day I was tell a friend was happened to me and she said she could help. That was the first time I did cocaine. From their it was a downward spiral. I did every drug i could get my hands on and their wasn't a single moment in the day where i didn't have a drink handy. When I was a sophomore in high school I met a guy. A guy who was 10 years older them me. He was a popular underground music producer in out part scene. He loured me in with lie and lie. Till I was trapped. I became his pawn in his game of life. He raped, controlled, terrified, and beat me. I couldn't do anything with out him knowing. It was a living nightmare. I was always being watched. Once when I tried fighting back he put a gun in my face. He pulled the trigger with no hesitation but the gun was empty. So instead he tried beating me to death with the gun I passed out. I woke up somewhere in a gutter the next morning. I hadn't been sober in 6 years till the day I found out I was pregnant with my son LeeLand. Unlike my mother i fought back and ran away. Far away. There was no way I was going to let any man hurt my child the way men hurt me my whole life. 

                                                    

        

       I met Charlie my fiancee when I was just turning 4 months pregnant. The first night we met was so magical. For the first time in my life someone was there who wanted to listen and who wanted to help. I could really talk to him. I told him everything that night. The abuse, drinking, drugs, and my pregnancy. After hear everything he still wanted to be with me. He was willing to raise and love Lee like his own son. He really loved me. He reallyed loved the real me. He saw the woman I could be. Who i wanted to be. Only a few weeks after me and Charlie got together the withdraws finally took over and i went into early labor. I thought if I just laid in bed then I could fight the pain. That it would just go away. Then I started bleeding. I went to the hospital. A few hours later I delivered a still born baby boy.  With the loose of my LeeLand it would have been so easy to relapse into my old ways. If I didn't have Charlie I would have died. He kept me strong. He was truly my light in the darkest of times. He taught me i was worth being loved. He taught me what love truly is. Thanks to him I have been sober for almost 4 years. 

                    

       There are many different types of abuse. There is the obvious physical and emotional abuse but there is also verbal and mental abuse. I am not trying to give guys a bad name and put it all on them. I have scene cases where women abuse the men! There are men out there who would never hit a women but get into a relationship where a women beats on them. Physical abuse is when someone purposely  inflicts injury or pain onto another person. Emotional abuse can cause  anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Verbal abuse is when something is said to someone that is demeaning or hurtful. Mental abuse is when the abuse messes with your head like " You are worthless" or "You can't leave no one else will want you.". A abusive relationship consist of all these different types of abuse. 

                

       Women sell them selves out for roses and a box of chocolates. We given in to I love you, I'm sorry, and I won't do it again. Don't sell yourself so short. You are worth it! You are worthy of being loved and being happy. If your relationship showed signs of abuse run why you still can run. One hit, push, slap, mean word, punch is all one to many. Don't fall for the I love yous and I won't do it agains. They will do it again and again until you are death or gone. Take my advice tell a friend, teacher, family member or anyone you can trust. Go to support groups. Go to the police. Go to a safe place like a church, family home, shelters for abused women and children, or friends home. Go somewhere he or she can't find you. Take your time to heal. Go to therapy. Going doesn't mean you are weak. Go to meetings. Talk to families and friends. Take your time before starting to date again. Let yourself heal and grow again. Find your strength again. Keep loving. Keep living. Keep laughing. The greatest gift is to love and be love in return.

50 Facts About My Relationship

                              

                      50 Facts About My Relationship

1. We met on February 15 at 10:50pm though Facebook! I was feeling at the end of my rope. I was in a very dark place. I was thinking about ending it all that night. I prayed to God to send me someone. Send me a season to live. Little did I know there was someone not that far away who was going through the same thing. I posted a status with my number in it. About 5 minutes later Charlie texted  me "Hi:)". He changed everything. 
2. It was love at first txt. I told him everything about my past, what I have been through, and everything about me. 
3. I am 2 years older then Charlie so he never thought he had a chance and I never thought I was good enough for him.
4. We became  official on February 17, 2010
5. We had our first date on February 27, 2010 at a bowling alley
6. We had our first kiss on my coach on February 28, 2010
7. He was my very first kiss
8. He was 16 and I was 18 when we got together
9. His full name is Charles Rex Hellmann II but if he was born a girl his name would have been Elizabeth Ann Hellmann which is my name.
10. He proposed on our first Valentines day on the swing set at a play ground we went to the first time we saw each other and where we use to always sit and talk. 
11. Our wedding is set for his birthday June 17, 2017
12. He use to take the bus to my house every single day to see me
13. We have been with each other every single day scene the day we first kissed
14. We moved in together in May when we had only been dating 3 months
15. We said I love you for the first time only after 2 weeks of dating
16. We got to see each other graduate High School
17. He was the first guy I every said I love you to
18. He was the first guy I ever made love to
19. We will be together 4 years this February
20. When I had to have surgery he never left my side unless he went to school. He would stay up all night with me then go to school then come right back to the hospital after he got out of school
21. He went to my senor prom and I got to go to his senor and junior prom
22. The first night we every spent the night was up his dad's house in PA
23. The first meal he every made was pop tarts and burritos
24. Every night before bed we say to each other "I love you more. Infinity and Beyond"
25. We never fight. We may disagree time to time but we always talk through it
26. We never go to bed angry
27. We have had a lot of haters though our relationship
28. He plans on being a police officer 
29. We both had very different paths. I had a place and a job lined up in California and he was going to be a marine but we where each other's reasons to stay
30. We grew up only 15 miles from each other
31. He is super close to my little brother and I am super close to his older brother John. 
32. We are truly best friends
33. We tell each other everything and we talk through everything with each other
34. We plan on having three boys Jackson Cash, Ricky James, and Phoenix Rex.
35. We are going to raise all our boys to be football players. NFL here we come!
36. I love our inside secrets and joke
37. He loves the southern charm in my voice and I love his baby blue charming bed room eyes
38. We love to spend out days playing video games together and watching movies
39. Our first summer together we stayed up all night every night and watched movies. We watched every movie in my house by the end of summer.
40. We both went to our first wedding together
41. He was the first boy I ever spent the night with and I was the first girl he spent the night with
42. He LOVES my famous PB&Js
43. We have a very weird love. It is one of a kind for sure but i wouldn't change it for any other love in the world
44. He gives the best hugs
45. He gives the best kisses and he has the sexiest lips
46. He is the nicest guy in the world. He has the biggest heart and finds the best in everyone. 
47. He is so giving. He would give the shirt off his back to anyone who needed it
48. I wish I could be half the person he is
49. He has been told he is so polite it makes people sick. lol
50. Charlie is really the last of a dieing breed. He still believes in treating women like women. He is truly a gentleman. He holds the door open and helps me out of the car. He is my prince charming. He is my everything and I don't deserve him but I am so blessed that fate, God, and destiny brought us together. I don't know what I would do without him in my life. He is my rock. He holds me down. We always have each other's backs. We live life to the fullest and love harder amd more then anyone could ever love someone else. We live every day by our vows. Through sickness and health we have been together. Through thick and thin we stand strong. From richer or poor we make it work. We promise to be true to one another through the good and bad. We will love and honor each other till death do us part. Our love will live on infinity and beyond.