Being Wizzy

Being wizzy:The childhood years

          Now that you all know how I was born now it is time to move on to my childhood. I grew up in Baltimore Maryland where I was born. I grew up in  Canton a small neighborhood right outside of downtown Baltimore. When I was younger Canton was very small. It was kind of like living in a small town. Everyone knew everyone and everyone knew EVERYTHING! The families had been in the same neighborhood for generations. My mom, uncles, and aunt all grew up in the same neighborhood and same house I was raised in. When my mom got married they moved in next door to my grandparents. When my "father" left he took everything even the pictures on the walls. Having nothing left we moved back into the house where my mother was raised. Growing up my house was crazy crowded! I lived with my two uncles, my mom, my grandparents, and my aunt. There where 7 people crowded into a 3 bedroom one bath row home. No counting all the pets we had. We always at least had three dogs. It was very crowded in the house. It always felt like we where on top of each other. Do you realize how painful having one bathroom with 7 people is?! There was absolutely no type of privacy. I never had my own room. I always shared a room with someone. 

                                                          Family during my childhood 

          My family is full of love but it is also full of issues. Now my family is heavily medicated but before that thing we're crazy! Like living in a mental hospital kind of crazy. There was a lot of verbal and mental abuse all through my family growing up. A lot of screaming and argueing. There was getting in peoples faces and bunching holes in walls. My uncles fought a lot. They fought about everything and anything. It was like everyone had to tip toe on eggshells when in the house. It was very uncomfortable. Also there was a lot of drinking in my childhood. Alcoholism runs through my family. My family has a lot of issues but we had some good times through all the madness. I spent a lot of time with my uncle and my aunt growing up. They use to take me everywhere with them. My favorite thing was our mall trips. We would go the white marsh mall on the weekends. We would go shopping then stop to get something to eat. My favorite place to shop was limited too and my favorite place to eat was friendlys! Even though my family life growing up wasn't ideal I was very loved. I was very taken care of. Dispite the issues and the argueing my family would do anything for me and made sure I had everything I ever needed or wanted. 

                                                             My childhood friendships

       I had a lot of friends in my childhood. Canton was small so all the Families knew each other and all the kids played together. All my friendships where just blocks away. It was a great experience being able to walk to my friends house everyday and go meet up at the park that was just right around the corner from my house. It was a time of innocence and happiness. We all got along and the best times we all had was swinging on the swings. It was truly freedom to us. I had three best friends during my childhood. My first best fiend was Samantha. I'm not even totally sure how we met. We where super close like sisters. She would spend months at my house and go on vacations with us. We went to school together. My mom put us in dance together. She even would dress us up like. We where just like twins. We never spent a moment apart. We where attached at the hip till her family moved to Gorgia. My second best friend was Mindy. I bet her through my other best friend Claire. I met Mindy a little later in my childhood but we where very close. She was always over my house and we went to cool together. My mom always took us on trips to the zoo and the beach. Just my luck Mindy and her family moved to Florida! Unlike Sam living I remember Mindy living very clearly. I remember out last day hanging out and hugging her goodbye. I remember waving out the window till I couldn't see her anymore when we dropped her off . My third best friend was Claire. Our parents when to school together and they grew up together so we where like built in friends. Claire was special. Everyone kind of picked on her and didn't like her. I felt sorry for her and took her under my wing as a big sister. I was her only friends. I would pretty much go up to her house every weekend. I saw her family as my own. I was super close with her mom. I called her mom aunt.  We grew up in Canton together our whole lives just blocks away from each other. We stayed friends past our childhoods into our adulthoods. I also had dance friendships. My aunt put me in dance when I was very young. I was super shy so they thought dance would help me blossom. I dance with the same group of girls pretty much the whole time I danced so we all became good friends. My best friend from dance was Chelsea. Our families became really good friends. One summer instead of going to summer school Chelsea's mom tutored me. So I went over there everyday! That's when me and Chelsea became really close! I remember always spending the night over her house on the weekends. Yet again my best friend moved away. They moved up to thermont maryland. After the moved we went up to visit all the time but as time went on and we became teenagers sadly me and Chelsea spoke less and less. I still speak to most of my childhood friends from time to time through mainly through social media.

                                                                 Dealing with lose

          Death was something I really had to deal with early in my childhood. When I was 7 years old I lost my best friend from school. Her name was Hanna. She had the biggest heart and the most beautiful soul. She was the nicest kid you could ever meet. One weekend a girl in our class was having a birthday party at chucke cheese. Her mom was supposed to pick me up but I got sick that weekend. They stopped to get gas and when leaving the gas station their car was hit by a speeding car. Hannah hit every door before flying out the front video. She was dead on the scene. She was the only one who died in the car that day. Her mom and both little sisters survived the crash. I remember my grandfather came home and was telling me how important a seat was because a little girl my age had just died. We didn't know at that time it was Hanna. On Monday I was home kick when my grandma told me the news. My best friend was gone. I remember crying and crying. It was hard going back to school. I remember the news coming to interview us about Hanna. I remember her little sister Lucy crying for me at school. She was a grade below us. She would get so upset that I had to sit with her. That was the hard part. Helping someone deal when I didn't know how to deal my self.  I still think about and pray to Hanna everyday. That was my first heartbreak. We all miss her so much. Even though she isn't with me she has gotten me through my hardest times. With her guidance I am on the right path in life. 

                                                             Me during my childhood 

       I was super shy when I was younger!  I had to really get to know someone till I felt comfortable around them. I didn't talk a lot. I was very quiet and stayed to myself. Even though I was so young I knew I didn't wanna let myself get too close to anyone. It is so sad but I got used to people leaving. My father left. My best friends left. Everyone I let myself get close to left me. It hurt and for the longest time that stuck with me. So I learned to stay to myself and only let people know what I wanted them to know. It was a very lonely time in my life. But my struggles made me who I am today. I learned young who to trust and who not to. I think it made me even more into the old soul that I am today.

Don't forget to check out my social media!

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/wizzyhellmann

Instagram:

http://instagram.com/lizzhellmann/

Tumblr:

http://lizziehellmann.tumblr.com/

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.com/lizzhellmann/